As these movies prove, it's one thing to go on a journey to a strange land -- but finding your way back can be quite a different matter.
The Lost City (Parts 1 & 2)
Objective grade: D-
Camp value bonus: B-
This feature version of The Lost City (1935) was specifically edited for Mill Creek for inclusion on the Nightmare Worlds box set. They were apparently expecting a typical 70-80 minute serial reduction, and in fact, there were already several existing feature versions around, all of them two hours or less. But thanks to a miscommunication, the film editor instead assembled this 204-minute epic, which includes just about all of the content in the serial's 12 chapters, minus the chapter titles (except for Chapter 1) and recaps.
So what we have here is a very rare bird indeed: not just original editing/authoring work from Mill Creek, which is unusual enough to begin with, but something that literally isn't available anywhere else. Kinda cool. (Note that the division into halves is totally arbitrary; I suspect Mill Creek just needed to be able to count it as two movies for purposes of their "50 movie box".)
As for the film itself, what can we say, really? It's slapdash in every conceivable way; they literally wrote the script as they went along, and the production and acting are thoroughly half-assed. The villain is amazingly, hilariously useless throughout the second half of the movie, quite literally "phoning it in" -- apparently because the actor was thoroughly drunk (he died shortly after filming) and basically got written out of the script.
But the notoriety attached to The Lost City mostly has to do with its racial politics, which really have to be seen to be believed. The simplest way to describe it is that all the black characters are either: (a) seven-foot zombies in Afro wigs; (b) scrambling, subservient, superstitious savages; or, (c) part of a tribe of spider-worshipping white midgets (I kid you not), thanks to a magic serum that transforms the natives from black to white.
Given all this, The Lost City should be approached with caution, but I suspect most people will find it too ludicrous and over-the-top to be genuinely offensive. There are some dull stretches, and at 3 1/2 hours it's probably best watched over two nights (as we did), but if you're not too put off by its treatment of race, it's a genuine camp classic.
Rocky Jones, Space Ranger: Menace From Outer Space
Objective grade: C-
Camp value bonus: C+
Edited together from three episodes of the 1950's Rocky Jones TV show, this good-natured space opera has lots of gee-whiz charm, some decent visual effects, and not much else, really. Invented slang and neologisms abound ("Super-stellar!" is a popular one), as do plenty of inadvertent double-entendres, starting with the trick Rocky uses to defeat his first adversary.
Rocky's various cohorts are mostly stock characters, cardboard cutouts in performances that range from hilarious to grating; as so often happens, the only one who shows a hint of having real acting chops also turns out to be the one who met a scandalous and untimely end. So it goes.
Maciste In Hell (1925)
Grade: B+
We won't say much about this one, except to note that P. had heard good things about this infernal saga, and it lived up to the hype. Maciste all'inferno was allegedly the inspiration for Fellini's directorial career, and you can certainly see why would've blown a young moviegoer's mind; visually, it's quite spectacular, full of eye-popping set pieces and special effects.
The version on this set clocks in at 60-odd minutes long, and was taken from a Grapevine Video release (it even has their logo on a couple of the intertitles). The score, meanwhile, was a loose assembly of classical pieces, including the opening movement of Schubert's "Unfinished", that exactly duplicated the pieces used on The Lost World; since it's generally much more appropriate here, we're guessing that it was probably initially put together for Maciste...but maybe it was just serendipitous coincidence and we're just gettin' all Dark Side and Oz on you, man.
There's apparently an uncut version out there somewhere that's about a half-hour longer, but hasn't been released on commercial DVD, and only circulates between traders. We'll reserve final judgment until we see that version, and/or a copy with a proper musical score.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I can't stand it, I know you planned it . . .
Sure, it's a common theme in a whole ton of movies, but these three were a bit tougher to link together than most.
How Awful About Allan
Grade: D
No, we won't go on about how awful (har har) this one is, because it isn't. In fact, it's something just a bit worse than awful: predictable. Maybe that's not worse per se, but it sure makes for a dull evening. P. had the ending pegged after only 15 minutes, which left us with about an hour to wait and see how the movie got there.
To be fair, this is a made-for-TV cheapie, and Psycho's Anthony Perkins turns in a fine performance as the title character, struck with psychosomatic blindness after accidentally killing his dad in a house fire. The shadowy camera work is often genuinely creepy, and for added realism Perkins wore special contact lenses that limited his vision. However, to anyone who's seen even a few "psychological thrillers" of that era (and this one too, actually) the "twist" is just too obvious, and isn't twisty enough to be interesting.
SABOTAGE: Somebody wants to hamper Allan's recovery (or worse!) . . . but who could it be???
The Lost World
Grade: B
No, not the Jurassic Park sequel -- who needs CGI when this 1925 silent adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's 1912 novel is so much more fun to watch? This is the original dino movie, with all sorts of advanced (for the time) effects involving split screens, stop motion, double exposures, and the like. The film does get off to a somewhat plodding start: all sorts of exposition and backstory to make sure we all know who's heading down to South America and why. Once the mission is underway though, it's all about those dinosaurs, with a love triangle and some mildly offensive blackface action thrown in for good measure.
There are several versions of this film floating around, including a version shown only through the George Eastman House -- a good history is at this site, which reviews the Image Entertainment release. What we saw was pure Mill Creek, all the way down to the ludicrously inappropriate soundtrack. That they probably lifted the score from another film [EDIT: probably Maciste in Hell; see the next post] became abundantly clear as we watched a knock-down, drag-out fistfight set to the strains of some lovely Romantic piano and violin piece. We hadn't laughed so hard at something for quite some time.
SABOTAGE: A kindly Brontosaurus (sorry, Apatosaurus) cuts off the party's exit from the high-up dino plateau . . . how will they ever escape?
The Phantom Creeps
Grade: D
Another edited-down serial starring our main man Bela. This is the sixth one we've seen him in (not counting Ed Wood, which didn't have the real Lugosi anyway), and out of these half dozen only Shadow of Chinatown ranks lower. Lugosi hams it up as Dr. Zorka, who uses a powerful meteorite to make all kinds of crazy gadgets: a giant attack robot, an invisibility belt (hence our title), and even a few dastardly exploding spiders! Naturally the government wants in on this, and even more naturally, Dr. Zorka would rather destroy the world than share. Add a few stock characters (chiseled lawman, plucky female reporter, shifty henchman) and we've got ourselves a serial.
(An aside: do all the bad guys, scientists, and aliens in sci-fi films really need names beginning with Z? Zorka, Zontar, Zarkov--enough!)
Like Shadow of Chinatown, and most of the other edited serials we've seen, this one suffers from a disjointed, rushed, and somewhat confusing plot, with nothing compelling enough to really draw us in. Radio Ranch is a great example of how an edited serial can be successful, but this one just didn't survive all the cuts. A full 70% of the original material didn't make it into the re-edit, and it makes us wonder (at least a little) about what we missed out on.
SABOTAGE: Zarkov's assistant makes off with the meteorite in hopes of making a quick buck . . . what's an evil scientist to do?
(Oh, and did you know that it was Dr. Zorka who really caused the Hindenburg disaster? Look for it towards the end.)
How Awful About Allan
Grade: D
No, we won't go on about how awful (har har) this one is, because it isn't. In fact, it's something just a bit worse than awful: predictable. Maybe that's not worse per se, but it sure makes for a dull evening. P. had the ending pegged after only 15 minutes, which left us with about an hour to wait and see how the movie got there.
To be fair, this is a made-for-TV cheapie, and Psycho's Anthony Perkins turns in a fine performance as the title character, struck with psychosomatic blindness after accidentally killing his dad in a house fire. The shadowy camera work is often genuinely creepy, and for added realism Perkins wore special contact lenses that limited his vision. However, to anyone who's seen even a few "psychological thrillers" of that era (and this one too, actually) the "twist" is just too obvious, and isn't twisty enough to be interesting.
SABOTAGE: Somebody wants to hamper Allan's recovery (or worse!) . . . but who could it be???
The Lost World
Grade: B
No, not the Jurassic Park sequel -- who needs CGI when this 1925 silent adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's 1912 novel is so much more fun to watch? This is the original dino movie, with all sorts of advanced (for the time) effects involving split screens, stop motion, double exposures, and the like. The film does get off to a somewhat plodding start: all sorts of exposition and backstory to make sure we all know who's heading down to South America and why. Once the mission is underway though, it's all about those dinosaurs, with a love triangle and some mildly offensive blackface action thrown in for good measure.
There are several versions of this film floating around, including a version shown only through the George Eastman House -- a good history is at this site, which reviews the Image Entertainment release. What we saw was pure Mill Creek, all the way down to the ludicrously inappropriate soundtrack. That they probably lifted the score from another film [EDIT: probably Maciste in Hell; see the next post] became abundantly clear as we watched a knock-down, drag-out fistfight set to the strains of some lovely Romantic piano and violin piece. We hadn't laughed so hard at something for quite some time.
SABOTAGE: A kindly Brontosaurus (sorry, Apatosaurus) cuts off the party's exit from the high-up dino plateau . . . how will they ever escape?
The Phantom Creeps
Grade: D
Another edited-down serial starring our main man Bela. This is the sixth one we've seen him in (not counting Ed Wood, which didn't have the real Lugosi anyway), and out of these half dozen only Shadow of Chinatown ranks lower. Lugosi hams it up as Dr. Zorka, who uses a powerful meteorite to make all kinds of crazy gadgets: a giant attack robot, an invisibility belt (hence our title), and even a few dastardly exploding spiders! Naturally the government wants in on this, and even more naturally, Dr. Zorka would rather destroy the world than share. Add a few stock characters (chiseled lawman, plucky female reporter, shifty henchman) and we've got ourselves a serial.
(An aside: do all the bad guys, scientists, and aliens in sci-fi films really need names beginning with Z? Zorka, Zontar, Zarkov--enough!)
Like Shadow of Chinatown, and most of the other edited serials we've seen, this one suffers from a disjointed, rushed, and somewhat confusing plot, with nothing compelling enough to really draw us in. Radio Ranch is a great example of how an edited serial can be successful, but this one just didn't survive all the cuts. A full 70% of the original material didn't make it into the re-edit, and it makes us wonder (at least a little) about what we missed out on.
SABOTAGE: Zarkov's assistant makes off with the meteorite in hopes of making a quick buck . . . what's an evil scientist to do?
(Oh, and did you know that it was Dr. Zorka who really caused the Hindenburg disaster? Look for it towards the end.)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Surviving extreme conditions: a cinematic guide
The theme for this week's batch of movies (which we actually watched several weeks back): survival in extreme conditions. In all three films, characters needed to acquire special gear in order to withstand the challenges of some harsh, unforgiving, or otherwise alien environment.
Purple Death From Outer Space
Grade: C-
This heavily edited, retitled version of Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe was put together for TV in 1966, more than a quarter-century after the original came out. In the process it lost much of whatever coherence was there to begin with, but retains a certain degree of goofy enthusiasm, as well as an appealing visual style that freely mixes the impressive with the totally half-assed. (That applies to the sound design, too: we got a big laugh out of the hilariously feminine shriek they use when people fall down Ming's bottomless pit.)
Still, despite a wealth of dimestore rockets, lumbering self-detonating robots, and crackling death rays, it all feels a bit empty and slapdash: characters come and go, problems are posed and solved, and there's no real reason to care. Perhaps the complete serial would be more rewarding.
The extreme condition: the frozen wastelands of Frigia, in search of polarite
The path to survival: Prof. Zarkov's special "contra-freeze" spray-on formula
Attack Of The Giant Leeches
Grade: C
Much has been written about this Roger Corman cheapie, so we'll keep it quick. Arguably more of a Southern gothic soap opera than a monster movie, its assets include sleepy bayou ambience and better-than-average characterizations. Add to this a helping of brazen adultery, as practiced by Ms. Yvette Vickers -- Playboy's Playmate of the Month in July 1959 -- who apparently took up residence in Stephen King's fantasy life shortly thereafter.
All these things may win you over, or not; most viewers will either fall into the "slow, but thoughtful, atmospheric and pleasantly offbeat" camp with P., or the "it's not quite good enough to be good, not quite bad enough to be good" camp with K.
The extreme condition: taking on the titular leech-man in his home environment, underwater
The path to survival: scuba gear, a spear gun, and a generous helping of dynamite
Radio Ranch
Grade: B-
This feature-length version of The Phantom Empire was easily the most entertaining of all the condensed serials we've watched so far, and doesn't seem to have suffered much at all from the editing process. Neither of us had ever really seen Gene Autry before, and it's amusing to compare our modern archetype of the cowboy with his clean-shaven, almost feminine look.
The plot to Radio Ranch is completely loopy, which is of course one of its biggest assets; see here for a decent summary. None of the performances are anything to write home about, but they don't get in the way of the movie, with the possible exception of Betsy Ross King, whose portrayal of Betsy Baxter (the main girl among the Junior Thunder Riders) is strident at best, grating at worst. She makes up for it, though, with some fancy trick riding -- indeed, there's a lot of impressive horseplay in Radio Ranch.
The costume and set design are intermittently wonderful. As the link above says, the matte painting is well done, the special effects reasonably special, and the robots are totally cute. Whoever edited this did a nice job, all told -- things move at a good clip throughout, and there were only one or two places where we felt unsure about what exactly was going on.
The extreme condition: the subterranean domain of Murania, miles below the surface of the earth
The path to survival: actually, Gene did fine down there. It was the Muranians who couldn't handle our air, and needed special breathing apparatus. We're so extreme!
Purple Death From Outer Space
Grade: C-
This heavily edited, retitled version of Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe was put together for TV in 1966, more than a quarter-century after the original came out. In the process it lost much of whatever coherence was there to begin with, but retains a certain degree of goofy enthusiasm, as well as an appealing visual style that freely mixes the impressive with the totally half-assed. (That applies to the sound design, too: we got a big laugh out of the hilariously feminine shriek they use when people fall down Ming's bottomless pit.)
Still, despite a wealth of dimestore rockets, lumbering self-detonating robots, and crackling death rays, it all feels a bit empty and slapdash: characters come and go, problems are posed and solved, and there's no real reason to care. Perhaps the complete serial would be more rewarding.
The extreme condition: the frozen wastelands of Frigia, in search of polarite
The path to survival: Prof. Zarkov's special "contra-freeze" spray-on formula
Attack Of The Giant Leeches
Grade: C
Much has been written about this Roger Corman cheapie, so we'll keep it quick. Arguably more of a Southern gothic soap opera than a monster movie, its assets include sleepy bayou ambience and better-than-average characterizations. Add to this a helping of brazen adultery, as practiced by Ms. Yvette Vickers -- Playboy's Playmate of the Month in July 1959 -- who apparently took up residence in Stephen King's fantasy life shortly thereafter.
All these things may win you over, or not; most viewers will either fall into the "slow, but thoughtful, atmospheric and pleasantly offbeat" camp with P., or the "it's not quite good enough to be good, not quite bad enough to be good" camp with K.
The extreme condition: taking on the titular leech-man in his home environment, underwater
The path to survival: scuba gear, a spear gun, and a generous helping of dynamite
Radio Ranch
Grade: B-
This feature-length version of The Phantom Empire was easily the most entertaining of all the condensed serials we've watched so far, and doesn't seem to have suffered much at all from the editing process. Neither of us had ever really seen Gene Autry before, and it's amusing to compare our modern archetype of the cowboy with his clean-shaven, almost feminine look.
The plot to Radio Ranch is completely loopy, which is of course one of its biggest assets; see here for a decent summary. None of the performances are anything to write home about, but they don't get in the way of the movie, with the possible exception of Betsy Ross King, whose portrayal of Betsy Baxter (the main girl among the Junior Thunder Riders) is strident at best, grating at worst. She makes up for it, though, with some fancy trick riding -- indeed, there's a lot of impressive horseplay in Radio Ranch.
The costume and set design are intermittently wonderful. As the link above says, the matte painting is well done, the special effects reasonably special, and the robots are totally cute. Whoever edited this did a nice job, all told -- things move at a good clip throughout, and there were only one or two places where we felt unsure about what exactly was going on.
The extreme condition: the subterranean domain of Murania, miles below the surface of the earth
The path to survival: actually, Gene did fine down there. It was the Muranians who couldn't handle our air, and needed special breathing apparatus. We're so extreme!
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