Sure, it's a common theme in a whole ton of movies, but these three were a bit tougher to link together than most.
How Awful About Allan
Grade: D
No, we won't go on about how awful (har har) this one is, because it isn't. In fact, it's something just a bit worse than awful: predictable. Maybe that's not worse per se, but it sure makes for a dull evening. P. had the ending pegged after only 15 minutes, which left us with about an hour to wait and see how the movie got there.
To be fair, this is a made-for-TV cheapie, and Psycho's Anthony Perkins turns in a fine performance as the title character, struck with psychosomatic blindness after accidentally killing his dad in a house fire. The shadowy camera work is often genuinely creepy, and for added realism Perkins wore special contact lenses that limited his vision. However, to anyone who's seen even a few "psychological thrillers" of that era (and this one too, actually) the "twist" is just too obvious, and isn't twisty enough to be interesting.
SABOTAGE: Somebody wants to hamper Allan's recovery (or worse!) . . . but who could it be???
The Lost World
Grade: B
No, not the Jurassic Park sequel -- who needs CGI when this 1925 silent adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle's 1912 novel is so much more fun to watch? This is the original dino movie, with all sorts of advanced (for the time) effects involving split screens, stop motion, double exposures, and the like. The film does get off to a somewhat plodding start: all sorts of exposition and backstory to make sure we all know who's heading down to South America and why. Once the mission is underway though, it's all about those dinosaurs, with a love triangle and some mildly offensive blackface action thrown in for good measure.
There are several versions of this film floating around, including a version shown only through the George Eastman House -- a good history is at this site, which reviews the Image Entertainment release. What we saw was pure Mill Creek, all the way down to the ludicrously inappropriate soundtrack. That they probably lifted the score from another film [EDIT: probably Maciste in Hell; see the next post] became abundantly clear as we watched a knock-down, drag-out fistfight set to the strains of some lovely Romantic piano and violin piece. We hadn't laughed so hard at something for quite some time.
SABOTAGE: A kindly Brontosaurus (sorry, Apatosaurus) cuts off the party's exit from the high-up dino plateau . . . how will they ever escape?
The Phantom Creeps
Grade: D
Another edited-down serial starring our main man Bela. This is the sixth one we've seen him in (not counting Ed Wood, which didn't have the real Lugosi anyway), and out of these half dozen only Shadow of Chinatown ranks lower. Lugosi hams it up as Dr. Zorka, who uses a powerful meteorite to make all kinds of crazy gadgets: a giant attack robot, an invisibility belt (hence our title), and even a few dastardly exploding spiders! Naturally the government wants in on this, and even more naturally, Dr. Zorka would rather destroy the world than share. Add a few stock characters (chiseled lawman, plucky female reporter, shifty henchman) and we've got ourselves a serial.
(An aside: do all the bad guys, scientists, and aliens in sci-fi films really need names beginning with Z? Zorka, Zontar, Zarkov--enough!)
Like Shadow of Chinatown, and most of the other edited serials we've seen, this one suffers from a disjointed, rushed, and somewhat confusing plot, with nothing compelling enough to really draw us in. Radio Ranch is a great example of how an edited serial can be successful, but this one just didn't survive all the cuts. A full 70% of the original material didn't make it into the re-edit, and it makes us wonder (at least a little) about what we missed out on.
SABOTAGE: Zarkov's assistant makes off with the meteorite in hopes of making a quick buck . . . what's an evil scientist to do?
(Oh, and did you know that it was Dr. Zorka who really caused the Hindenburg disaster? Look for it towards the end.)
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