And then there's this pair of moving pictures, in which a prominent character fights for life and freedom -- only to change his mind right at the end and opt for self-destruction.
(Is there any introductory phrase less flattering than "And then there's"? It's basically saying "Oh, in addition to those other, more important things I've mentioned earlier, this also exists." It turns everything into a forgotten, middle child, or some tasteless sandwich filling whose absence you don't miss.)
(Sorry, Maude.)
Tales of Frankenstein (1958)
Grade: D
Those rogues at Mill Creek got us again! This "movie" is, in reality, a failed TV pilot: not surprising, given its sub-30-minute running time. Did the producers really think a Frankenstein-themed anthology show could possibly have enough material to sustain a weekly audience?
In a 30-minute drama there's usually only time for one plot event, and Tales of Frankenstein follows that rule to a T. (Hey, the title's initialism is the same as "true or false", or "tacos or fajitas?")
So: woman beseeches Dr. F to save the life of her husband, a sculptor dying of heart failure.
Dr. F appreciates the husband's "good hands" but still demurs. Why? Well, he'd rather wait a few days...
You can pretty much guess the rest -- except that the newly-widowed woman (Helen Westcott) is pleasingly feisty. She doesn't hesitate to buffalo her way through the obstructionism of the villagers to find out the truth, even if that truth amounts to "Careful what you wish for..."
The Doctor gets in trouble but is unrepentant, a noble sacrifice is made, the status quo is restored, and everyone moves on with their lives. Exactly how was this going to be a weekly series? One can only wonder.
Night of the Blood Beast (1958)
Grade: D
Night of the Blood Beast could have been a good one. The basic premise of a bloodborne pathogen that can revive the dead has been done to death, of course -- but in this case our Lazarus is no zombie, but ill-fated astronaut John Corcoran (Michael Emmet). He comes back completely compos mentis but as confused as anyone about the situation.
Seeing their dead associate spontaneously revive is enough to scare the crap out of his colleagues (one of whom is his fiancée). It doesn't help that all their watches have stopped and they can't contact any other stations.
And, as they soon discover, he's got a body full of sea monkeys...
...and a very assertive bodyguard (whom he introduces with the utmost nonchalance).
All this, plus Corcoran's impassioned pleas for peace, love, and understanding, set Night of the Blood Beast up to be about as intriguing as an above-average episode of The Twilight Zone. And that's exactly what it should have been, since the TV show's tighter format would spare us the draggy, talky second act that essentially kills the movie.
To make matters worse, the film chickens out from the interesting implications of its premise (NO KILL I) and, instead, descends into a conclusion of preachy monologues and cocksure violence. No one learns anything beyond "if you encounter something unfamiliar or strange, kill it".
Ah, well. At least we'll always have pareidolia.
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