Whether or not you think these next two films are classics, they're certainly sci-fi. So unlike some we've seen recently, they've more than proven their bona fides for purposes of this box set (or subset).
They're also brimming with the kind of gee-whiz enthusiasm that makes 1950s offerings fun -- even if there's a surprisingly grim undercurrent to some of the proceedings.
They're also brimming with the kind of gee-whiz enthusiasm that makes 1950s offerings fun -- even if there's a surprisingly grim undercurrent to some of the proceedings.
(filmed in 1957)
Objective Grade: C-
Sincerity Surplus: A-
But that would be an injustice, because -- unlike Ed Wood's plodding, talky films -- Teenagers from Outer Space moves along briskly and almost never succumbs to endless exposition. Dare we say it, this is actually a competently-directed movie, and at least in terms of pacing, a surprisingly well-edited one.
Of course Teenagers from Outer Space also has some monumentally silly aspects, and let's get those out of the way right upfront. The aliens speak English, the film's title is totally off the mark, most of the actors have little command of their craft, the beards are faker than a six-dollar bill, and the final shot is unintentionally hilarious.
Some of the special effects are actually rather ingenious, but it's patently obvious that the big bad monster is, indeed, just a lobster in silhouette.
None of these things really detract from the experience, though: quite the contrary, because when it comes to the factors that make a "bad" movie fun to watch, Teenagers from Outer Space is almost a perfect storm. When we laughed, it was almost always with affection and without contempt, because most of the film's laughable things are simply a product of being broke. Laugh at Plan 9 or Manos and you feel dirty, but somehow the laughs in Teenagers don't demean the film or anyone in it.
Why? Well, again, it's the crisp pace, which gives the film credibility even when people are fighting giant lobster shadows. But it's also the film's remarkably effective combination of sincerity and brutality. People in Teenagers from Outer Space are kind and trusting folks, and always willing to help a stranger (even when it repeatedly imperils them).
On the other hand, for a 1950s sci-fi movie, Teenagers has one hell of a body count, starting with the little dog that gets snuffed by haughty alien assassin Thor (Bryan Grant).
Begin a movie by killing a dog for basically no reason, and you send a message that no one's off-limits -- not even women and children. We didn't keep an exact count, but the total number of casualties approaches 20, though we can't get into details without spoiling the film's ending.
The other ace Teenagers has up its sleeve is Dawn Bender (aka Dawn Anderson) as girl-next-door Betty Morgan, a gentle soul who falls in love at first sight with tortured alien Derek (David Love aka Charles Robert Kaltenthaler). Bender apparently had a significant career as a child actress before retiring in her 20s and becoming a schoolteacher, and Teenagers from Outer Space was her last film.
And, with an attractive figure and unexpectedly hipster haircut, one imagines she'd turn a lot of male heads (and not a few female ones) in a Williamsburg bar.
What we're trying to say is that Ms. Bender seems to have had "it", depending on your definition of "it". It's not just that she's pretty, but that she exudes warmth, kindness, optimism, honesty -- and somehow does so without being cloying in the least.
She's not even our type, really, but it's hard to deny the magnetism of her presence onscreen. And if you're going to build a movie around an alien who's caught between his home world and the appeals of Earth, you'll want to cast a female lead whose magnetism makes that conflict thoroughly believable.
Very few actresses can pull that off, even under ideal conditions; that Dawn Bender does it in a shoestring production suggests that she deserved a far more storied career, if she wanted one...
...and maybe she didn't. Nothing wrong with growing old gracefully while teaching young'uns.
So, to our delight, Teenagers from Outer Space turns out to be a jewel. It may not be as jaw-dropping as, say, Maniac, and it certainly isn't a "good" movie in the usual sense, nor can all of its missteps be chalked up to budget. But it's one of the most fun, endearing, sincere, and oddly memorable films we've seen in this box, and deserves more respect than to be grouped with the fetishistic incompetencies of Ed Wood.
It's a terrible shame that Tom Graeff didn't get another chance. From all accounts the failure of Teenagers from Outer Space crushed him, and he committed suicide in 1970. Yet there's some real talent here, and given the obscenely poor trash pumped out by major studios then and now, it's not at all a stretch to believe he could have forged a real career had the cards just gone his way.
Instead, what we get isn't even a cautionary tale -- what did the guy do wrong, except dream? -- but just a tragic one. Someone oughta fire the writer.
Grade: C+
Rocky Jones, Space Ranger, we haven't seen the likes of you in a long, long time. It's astonishing to think it's been over nine years since we watched Menace from Outer Space, the other TV-to-feature-film adaptation included on Mill Creek's 250-pack.
With that long an interval between reviews, we'll freely admit we don't remember much about Menace...that is, beyond the sad story of actor Scotty Beckett, who plays Rocky's sidekick Winky, and went down in a blaze of abject self-destruction that has to be read to be believed.
Yet it seems like a pretty safe bet that Crash of Moons is the better of the two Rocky Jones edits we've seen. For one it has a compelling and (nearly) implacable antagonist in Cleolanta (Patsy Parsons), a queen -- er, sorry, a suzerain -- who makes no apologies for wanting complete control over her planet and people, and has no interest in making nice with outsiders.
The premise of the story arc is an interesting one, too: two inhabited "gypsy moons", wandering through space and sharing a thread of atmosphere as they revolve around each other, are on a collision course with Cleolanta's planet Ophiuchus. (Well, one of them is, anyway.)
It's not really clear how the moons stay warm -- tidal forces, maybe? -- but, given what we now know about rogue planets and brown dwarfs, at least this is a plausible basis for hanging a tale.
The cast wisely accents the middle syllables in the moons' names, which helps to downplay the obviousness of calling them -- ahem -- Posito and Negato.
-- and especially their infant offspring, whose constant mewling gets far more screentime than it deserves. Maybe the vague hints that the child is prophetic pay off in a later episode, but here, they're just a red herring.
Still, at least by TV standards, the sets and visual effects in Crash of Moons are surprisingly good at times, even thoughtful. In particular, when two celestial objects (I wonder which?) collide late in the movie, we see a momentary flash of lightning right before impact. That's a really nice touch, and knowing When Worlds Collide had already come out in 1951 doesn't undermine the point: they could've gotten away without doing that, yet they made the effort to do it. Kudos.
Compared to Menace from Outer Space, there's quite a bit more edge to Crash of Moons: not only are Rocky and his gang faced with execution at one point, but another plot device has a character attempting to kill thousands of people. No points for guessing that it didn't pan out, but that would've been quite a body count.
None of this rises beyond the basics, but -- quoting ourselves here! -- if you seek family-friendly entertainment for your visiting home-schooled relatives, you could do worse than Crash of Moons.
As long as you don't mind that half the gadgets look like repurposed sex toys, that is.
(Scroll back up and look at those two shots of Vena and Rocky holding "communicators". Kinda seems like they went down to the local "adult entertainment" store and bought a couple "marital aids", doesn't it? Shades of Mythbusters!)
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