Showing posts with label gratuitous race cars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratuitous race cars. Show all posts

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Blue are the feelings that live inside me

In which two recently released felons hang out with monkeys and try to reckon with a world that seems out to get them.



Breakout from Oppression (1982) 
[aka Sha chu chong wei, aka Exposed to Danger]

Grade: C-



Meet Fonda (Hsiao-Fen Lu, credited as Fonda Lin), a woman who is not -- as the strident opening theme and amazing title card font might suggest -- sailing in on a Soviet battleship ready to take a small Taiwanese island by storm.


No, Fonda is arriving fresh from prison after her "breakout" -- though not in the literal sense, in that she presumably served her sentence and was released as a free woman. The full backstory is eventually revealed in flashback, beginning with her arrival in jail and working backwards to flesh out the circumstances that led to her incarceration.


Since she's no longer trapped in Taiwan's penal system (where, if the sets are true to life, the girls bunk together in rough-hewn caves), what's left to break out from?


As quickly becomes clear, the only thing really oppressing Fonda is her self-stigma at being an ex-con, along with a crippling lack of confidence that starts to get rather tired after a while.


I mean, she's young and attractive; the male lead -- who seems genuinely nice -- falls for her instantly; her apartment (for someone with presumably meager funds) is insanely stylish [and comes with its own macaque!]; and she has a mysterious job opportunity handed to her on a sliver platter. Why so glum?


Well, there's the series of cleverly engineered "accidents" that serve to frighten, unsettle, and regularly cause injury to Fonda (along with the occasional unlucky bystander).


There's also the relentless (and seemingly uncalled-for) hostility from Fonda's female coworkers: the shrill, Karen-esque editorial manager (Hsiung-Kuo Li) and the woman-child assistant, Sheena (Fu-Mei Chang, as Lona Chang).


Are these women just cattily jealous of pretty Fonda, or does one of them have more sinister motives? Or, could the culprit be love interest Simon Chang (Alan Tam), or party guy photographer Joe Chan (Tsai Pei Lin, as Jacky Lim)?


Observant viewers (well, even the not-so-observant ones) will cotton on to the "who" fairly early, with the rest of the film unfolding into the "how", along with the all-important "why".


For a movie that seems to want to play it straight -- horror and suspense yes, but with ~*sensitivity*~ to the plight of the heroine -- the whole premise is comically improbable from the get-go.

(As improbable as a lamp made from a frickin' pufferfish.)

There's the odd set-up (unless business owners in Taiwan do regularly hire ex-cons, sight unseen, through the mail -- and that those so hired respond by immediately moving to the area and showing up to work, without so much as a phone call to HR to confirm benefit details).


There's that apartment monkey (who rents out a place with a pet in residence?), and a random knife-wielding woman with no real connection to the plot, who briefly shows up to wreak havoc and get all stabby. Characters do plenty of dumb things, for dumb reasons. And the ending is, well ... a bit beyond belief.


The English dubbing doesn't dispel the unreality either; half the characters shout their lines, and Sheena has this bizarre pseudo-posh English accent that's as slippery and painful as a razor-tipped bar of soap.


The soundtrack, which isn't terrible -- serviceable 80s synth horror, appropriately creepy when called for -- descends into a soppy, faux-pan flute cliche whenever Fonda starts feeling down on herself (which, as mentioned, is often), or interacts in any way with the male lead. It's the same tune, over and over and over again, which translates to an unfortunate earworm that overshadows any of the good audio work.


Then there's the transfer -- in true Mill Creek fashion, the quality is abysmal. Yes, it may be a very dark scene, but horror and suspense depend on being able to see at least *something* going on -- a shadow, a movement, anything -- rather than a blank, murky gloom for solid stretches at a time. One has to believe that the original print was better than this junk, and would have greatly improved the experience.


A final note on the setting, which must be one of Taiwan's outlying islands, as all arrivals (and eventual departures) are made by boat. An interesting locale, though sadly unexplored except for brief seaside vistas and street carnival scenes. Always a nice change to be somewhere other than California, or Italy, or Spain, or England (Sheena's accent be damned).


Overall, a reasonable experience. Not a masterpiece, but enjoyable in its own quirky way.





Country Blue (1973)

Grade: C+


It's a tale as old as time: an impoverished young man (isn't it always a man?) robs and steals to escape said poverty and to support his girlfriend/wife/love interest. The law gives chase, the young man escapes, and the cycle continues until at least one person ends up dead.


In Country Blue, the young man is Bobby Lee Dixon (Jack Conrad), just out on parole after serving time for sticking up a grocery store (with extra time served for attempting jailbreak). He goes back to work for the man who raised him, the perpetually be-greased garage owner J.J. "Jumpy" Belk (Dub Taylor, of Beartooh fame), whose biological daughter happens to be Bobby's girlfriend Ruthie (Rita George).


After being back in his tiny backwater town for approximately 5 minutes, Bobby feels the itch to escape; but with Ruthie saddled with a husband she doesn't want and no money for a divorce, they're apparently stuck.

"We're both in jail ... I just want to be able to bust us out ... that's all I want to do ... " 

Unless...


And the rest of the film unfolds with Bobby and Ruthie's exploits through hill, dale, and jail in the rural South.


We are, of course, expected to root for Bobby as the anti-hero; the problem is that he is so often incredibly stupid. OK, that's not entirely fair; as the very poster boy of disaffected youth, he is often unable to control his anger, frustration, and impulsiveness.


This leads to situations where his success is based not on skill or careful planning, but due entirely to luckiness on his part, or unluckiness on the part of others.


And likewise, when things go wrong, it's not because others were particularly clever, or that the odds were stacked particularly high; Bobby's failures amount almost entirely to a series of unforced errors.


An exception: if there's one thing Bobby Lee Dixon can do well, it's lead a good old-fashioned police chase, no matter what muscle car or rust bucket he's begged, borrowed, or stolen.


As noted by Arneda, the local barkeep-cum-bootlegger who comes first to the rescue, then along for the ride: "I ain't worried Bobby, you drive real good!"


Well, perhaps not always, as poor Arneda will learn to her peril.

So, with a clichéd plot and a petulant churl of a main character, what makes this movie worth watching? The title gives a hint -- this is Country Blue, and the real star is the setting.


Unlike many films that go over the top to drive home the "hickness" of the South, Country Blue does a good job of showing something truer to (what we assume to be) real life in that neck of the woods.


Frayed downtowns with a smattering of cars and old folks parked on benches; cramped, claustrophobic wood-paneled apartments; the occasional stray dog padding through dusty streets; a casual acceptance of lawlessness and violence as a matter of course; tiny one-room roadside churches; poor white and black folks coexisting together in quiet, dignified desperation.


For a film that starts itself off with a long sequence at a grungy, noisy stock car track, it's also particularly rich in natural scenery: as Bobby and Ruthie trundle around the Georgia-Florida borderlands, we're treated to slow strolls through sun-dappled woods; long shots of cars gliding down winding roads with dialog in voiceover; peeper-filled marshes perfect for skivvy dipping and camping out.


Even the so-called action scenes -- car chases and the like -- are full of natural beauty; and Bobby's skill in navigating that particular landscape underscores how much of a country boy he truly is, whether he likes it or not.


In truth, Bobby isn't really a bad 'un; he's never needlessly destructive (except to himself), and seems to be on good terms with his fellow country folk (law enforcement aside).


Were he to get over his terminal fatalism -- not helped by Jumpy, who feels similarly afflicted ("[Ruthie] ain't no misfit like you and me" says Jumpy to his ersatz son) -- he might have a chance of making a decent, though quiet, life for himself. 


Will he mend his law-breakin' ways? Don't bank on it.

Friday, May 12, 2017

In like a lion, out like a trout

Two of these movies feature apples, throats getting slashed, and unconvincing loops of barking dogs in the background. One...does not. Oh, well.

But all three do share this in common, at least: after an intriguing and attention-getting start, they swiftly go downhill.



Carnage (1984)

Grade: D+

Whatever faults Carnage may have, its opening sequence is undeniably striking. As we hear the strains of an old record, a young bride and groom murmur words of love, embrace one another...


...whereupon he proceeds to blow her brains out with a pistol, seemingly consensually, before turning the gun on himself. OK, not our kink, but still a hell of a MacGuffin, right?

And when, in the next sequence, we see another young couple in love move into that very same home, we're obviously meant to fear that history will somehow repeat itself.

What follows is more or less within the spectrum of films like The Amityville Horror, Poltergeist, and so on; it's just a heck of a lot more half-assed. Naturally, the ante gradually gets upped, from hand-stabbings...

...to throat-slashings:

And from limb-severings...

...to full-on decapitations:

And naturally, no matter how many signs of trouble pile up -- not to mention all the mysteriously overlooked corpses that eventually litter their property -- neither she (Leslie den Dooven) nor he (Michael Chiodo) can get it together to leave this haunted house. Instead they just sulk, bicker, and invite people over.

When a film's principals act so stupidly as to beggar belief, it's inevitably a hard sell. Ergo, the biggest flaw in Carnage isn't its amateurish production or acting, but simply that -- through repeated abuse of the audience's engagement -- the film ultimately loses its spark.

On the other hand, Miss den Dooven does have a certain charm -- at least if you're in the market for something full-figured, blonde-maned, and every bit as Dutch as her name would suggest. She'd make a fine ex-girlfriend.

...though, when it comes to marriage material, you could do worse.




Frankenstein 80 (1972)

Grade: D-


The stylish, pervy opening sequence of Frankenstein 80 leaves no doubt as to the seediness of the film to come. A woman is struck down, her armload of apples tumbling down the stairs like a flotilla of Potemkin baby carriages.


A sinister hand removes the victim's clothing and briefly fondles her body, lingering over the naughty bits, before cutting her open and removing one of her organs. Who would do such a thing? Maybe it was one of these people, if only we could read their names:

Ah, Mill Creek, keep creekin' on.

Anyway, Frankenstein 80 is what happened when Italian cinema decided to ask the question "Hey, what if the Monster were a rapist?" And here's the delightful answer:

OK, in fairness, that's probably the most unflattering shot in the film -- making him look like some stray member of Foghat getting frog-marched out of a trashed hotel room by his long-suffering agent (who'll take care of the dead hooker, again).

This one has a bit more impact, no?

Or perhaps you prefer the version where the monster -- aka Mosaic -- beats a woman to death with a beef bone?

Anyway, Frankenstein 80 makes some silly pretense at a plot, with a missing serum, a dead patient and, of course, a megalomaniacal doctor whose last name rings no alarm bells whatsoever at the hospital where he works.

We're ostensibly meant to root for the de rigueur hero and his love interest, each of whom is about as compelling as the cotton stuffed in bottles of ibuprofen.

But the film's main hook is undoubtedly the steady trickle of T&A elicited by the rampaging Mosaic. In 1972, that might have been titillating; now, nearly five decades later, Frankenstein 80 has nothing much to offer, and no real basis on which to expect your attention.

Unless you're a Mill Creek completist (or a Frankenrape buff, and God help you if you are), don't bother watching this one.




Death Warmed Up (1984)
[aka Death Warmed Over]

Grade: D+

We wanted to like Death Warmed Up. After all, it's from New Zealand, dates from the first half of the 1980s, and -- much as we later saw from Peter Jackson -- has no qualms about going completely over the top when necessary.

A few reviewers convinced themselves this was an effective and appealing film; it's easy to see how. The opening sequence is by turns taut, sexy, enigmatic, and violent, backed up by flashy cinematography that makes the most of each shot.

Even something as simple as an exterior shot of a building is handled with a bit of verve:

And the paroxysm of parricide (with a dash of, uh, fluorocide) that climaxes the first act? It still has some punch, even decades later.

But then Death Warmed Up takes a left turn and decides it wants to be Mad Max, with revenge and vehicles and blond dye-jobs...

...and some guy with no eyebrows (David Letch)...

...and a chase sequence in a tunnel. Mel Gibson's flick didn't have that, huh? Looks damn good, doesn't it?

Or wait, maybe we should make a high-concept zombie movie. Could we do both? Let's get some surgery going.

And a meaningless oscilloscope-type readout that looks like a butthole: can you do one of those up for a few hundred bucks?

And how about an exploding head or two?

Ooh, let's throw in an Indian stereotype (Jonathan Hardy). It's like A Face in the Fog, but ethnic!

For all the visual style and (potentially) glorious excess of Death Warmed Up, its complete failure to deliver any kind of narrative cohesion or character motivation pretty much spoils the fun. One of many questions left unanswered: why exactly does protagonist Michael (Michael Hurst) drag his friends with him on his revenge mission?

As the old saying goes, Death Warmed Up can't bedazzle us with brilliance, so it tries to befuddle us with bullshit. But not only do the film's visual fireworks fail to compensate for the lack of a coherent plot or script, it may well be that they actively contribute to the stunned, apathetic feeling that came over us about 45-50 minutes in.


With a distinctive cast and ambitious production values, it's a pity that Death Warmed Up burns its bridges so completely. But burn them it does, and the slapdash result is -- for the most part -- an unrewarding chaos of meaninglessness.