Showing posts with label handsome women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label handsome women. Show all posts

Monday, January 11, 2021

Put our service to the test

Though neither of these films is a Mill Creek joint, we initially took an interest in them because of their connection to the Horror Collection 250-pack. One features an actress we first met in the earliest days of our site, while the other is ostensibly a sequel to one of our favorite movies on the box.

However, we didn't foresee that they'd share something else: protagonists who find themselves in the crosshairs of that most terrifying of locations --

--that most bone-chilling of phrases --

-- that limitless vein of potential awkwardnesses and unwanted socializations:

"You can stay in our guest room."


    The Three Weird Sisters (1948)

    Grade: C+

    Ah, Nova Pilbeam. Even if your name weren't so unusual, we'd certainly remember you from your star turn in Counterblast, not to mention your strong resemblance to a former colleague of ours (at least in that colleague's younger days: you wouldn't recognize 'em now).




    And speaking of younger days, it's not clear whether this or Counterblast was Pilbeam's last film role -- though she did make one BBC appearance in 1951 before packing it in for good -- but after a successful career as a child actress, and a reasonable career as a young adult, that was that.

    She lived to age 95 -- when we wrote our Counterblast review, she was still alive! -- but was, from all reports, not interested in discussing the past. (Makes sense when your name is "new".)




    Anyway, Ms. Pilbeam is Claire (no relation to Emily) Prentiss, a secretary who accompanies her obstreperous boss Owen Morgan-Vaughan (Raymond Lovell) to a Welsh mining village, Cwmglas, where his (ahem) three weird sisters await his arrival at the family home.

    (Technically they're his weird half-sisters, but that wouldn't have the same ring, now would it?)

    One is blind, one deaf, and one has some combination of bad nerves and severe arthritis, resulting in a strange symbiotic interdependency between the three.


    In the film's opening Cwmglas suffers a catastrophic collapse in which several residents die, and survivors opine on the will of God and the suffering of the proletariat.

    While hard to follow on first viewing, a quick review of Dylan Thomas: The Complete Screenplays (which also told us how to spell "Cwmglas") makes the details clear. The Morgan-Vaughans are the local muckety-mucks who made their fortune via the mines, while their cheapskate refusal to fill up unused mineshafts beneath the village caused, or at least contributed to, the collapse.


    For a while, The Three Weird Sisters is poised on a knife-edge of ambiguity: is Owen just a callous bastard who selfishly wants to wash his hands of all responsibility toward the village? (Given that Owen gets a rock flung at him upon arrival, some of the townspeople clearly hold the affirmative.)




    Or is Cwmglas -- the name of which sounds like a "worst of Reddit" thread in the making -- just a decrepit symbol of the corrupt, hopeless old ways? A decaying relic that's undeserving of life support and overdue for destruction? Merely a vessel for a "spent force", one might say?




    With Dylan Thomas on board, some sophistication (moral and otherwise) is to be expected. Ultimately, though, the lines are drawn by the participants' willingness to sacrifice innocent Claire in the crossfire -- and given that one of the sisters describes her as "that horrible painted young woman", one need not be exceedingly wise to infer who the baddies are.




    So what does that leave us? Suspense, atmosphere, intrigue, and barbed dialogue, we suppose, none of which are extraordinary but all of which are at least serviceable. And we get faces, if one likes faces (as we do), ranging from Ms. Pilbeam's ever-popular visage --




    -- to the sisters, especially Gertrude (Nancy Price), whose forbidding countenance somehow intrinsically evokes those stony, mirthless parts of Britain where God's name is perpetually on everyone's lips and yet the old pagan powers feel close at hand.


    Or there's this preacher (Hugh Pryse) in his ridiculous middle-aged makeup:


    And we get amusing vignettes, as when we find the thersitical Mabli (Hugh Griffith) reciting Marxist dogma to, well, dogs:


    Structurally speaking, The Three Weird Sisters is a film-you've-seen-before -- if you understand what we mean -- and offers no great innovation or dramatic uncertainty. So your appreciation of it will likely depend on your affinity for the Welsh coat of paint it's received, and/or your fondness for Dylan Thomas, Welsh terriers, Nova Pilbeam, or handsome older women.

    (No judgment, you do you.)





    Devil Bat's Daughter (1946)

    Grade: D+




    When you expect a film to be a complete piece of crap, it sure is a pleasant surprise when it's not. That's not to say Devil Bat's Daughter even comes close to its predecessor, The Devil Bat, the consensus favorite among Béla Lugosi's Poverty Row efforts (and we agree that it holds up).




    We can't help but be curious why Devil Bat's Daughter was even made. Was a five-year-old film really enough of a success to call for a sequel? That is: if this was a cynical cash-in, what exactly was there to cash in upon in the first place?


    In any event, Devil Bat's Daughter has little to do with the earlier film, though we can't quite call it an "in-name-only" sequel. Instead it runs along similar lines to Shock, with a traumatized young woman, Nina (Rosemary La Planche), guided through recovery by the authoritarian Dr. Clifton Morris (Michael Hale), who may not have her best interests at heart.


    We're not sure whether having a patient living in your home was considered a ridiculous violation of professional boundaries in 1946, though from our vantage point 75 years later, it seems absurd. But living in Dr. Morris's home brings Nina into contact with his saintly wife Ellen (Molly Lamont) and stepson Ted (John James), and guess which one of them falls in love with her?


    ...no, this is 1946, try again. Though we will say that Ms. Lamont, who hasn't necessarily lit up our screen in movies like Scared to Death and Jungle Girl, evinces a degree of angular classical beauty in this film --


    -- while, by contrast, Ms. La Planche's past as a Miss America merely underscores how tastes have changed.


    But better either of them than John James, who unfortunately evokes the irritating Jerry Lester -- plus a dash of Mickey Rooney, a sprinkling of Tim Allen, a dusting of John Heard. Those old-young faces are a tough sell.




    If one acknowledges that the major plot points of Devil Bat's Daughter are foreseeable, there are a few things that deviate from the expected path. One of them is the body count, or more accurately, the body-count-to-emotional-consequence ratio, which is unexpectedly brutal. Not a film for dog lovers, this, though we're always glad to see a movie go for the jugular.




    On the other hand, Devil Bat's Daughter commits an absolutely monstrous act of retconning that, under normal circumstances, should be unforgivable. So instead, we'll forgive it by allowing ourselves to pretend that the literal meaning of the revelation -- which would utterly destroy both this movie and the previous one -- is untrue, and that the character who announces it is mistaken. And frankly, the movie still works if you assume that.


    Still, while our initial impulse was to give this one a C-minus, it really needs to be penalized for that misstep. Otherwise, we were shocked to find that we enjoyed Devil Bat's Daughter. It's a predictable and flawed film, but manages to entertain nonetheless -- if you have very low standards, as we seem to these days.


    Thursday, August 15, 2013

    One thing leads to another

    To quote Robert Frost:

    The deception with tact
    Just what are you trying to say?
    You've got a butt face, which irritates

    And with these wise words from the old master, let's go postal and "dwelve" into two films where the fix is in, and deception is often the matter at hand:



    A Shriek in the Night (1933)

    Grade: C-



    Humdrum murder mystery starts out with a man falling to his death, goes downhill from there.  It has Ginger Rogers as a spunky female reporter, Lyle Talbot as a not-spunkless male reporter, a passable plot, and not much else.




    Now, though we get some stock characters (the superstitious black maid who won't go near a dead body) and sequences (the obligatory denouement in which we're reminded that "a woman's place is in the home"), it'd be unfair to say that the whole movie is purely by-the-numbers.



    But a few clever touches (the cards, the little games of tit-for-tat that go on between Rogers and Talbot), plus a subtle hint of pre-Code edginess (the incinerator!), still aren't enough to elevate A Shriek in the Night beyond mediocrity.  Too much of the film is slow and, alas, not terribly engaging.



    Perhaps A Shriek in the Night's biggest liability is Lillian Harmer's performance as the dull-witted, hysterical housekeeper Augusta. Seldom has "comic relief" been so actively grating, so categorically unfunny.

    No doubt there are vaudeville antecedents for the approach she brings to the role -- but then again, a lot of vaudeville sucked. Maybe there's some kind of Andy Kaufman-esque "unperformance" angle going on here, but we doubt it.



    You might want to bump this grade up a bit if you're a Ginger Rogers fan (we're not) or a Lyle Talbot completist (we're working on it). Otherwise, no need to bother.



    The Amazing Mr. X (1948)

    Grade: B-



    Stylish tale of two wealthy sisters who fall under the influence of a charismatic medium. The elder sister, Christine (Lynn Bari) -- a "handsome woman" if one there ever was -- is haunted by the memory of her late husband Paul, a mercurial pianist with a fondness for Chopin (particularly the Prelude in E Minor, i.e. the same damn piece everyone uses in every movie with a piano).

    Nonetheless, Christine has recently become engaged to an attorney, a debonair but predictable man. He's the kind of guy who's never neglected to dot an I or cross a T in his life, but he's clearly wild about her.



    Somehow, though, she still can't quite get over Paul. (It probably doesn't help to have a crappy oil painting of the dead guy glowering at them, Bea Arthur-style, whenever they make out.)



    Enter the psychic (played by Turhan Bey), the Amazing Mister...



    ...well, Alexis, actually, since despite the title of this movie, no one ever calls him "Mr. X".  Even his business cards say "Alexis", so we're guessing Marketing just picked the most interesting letter in his name and ran with it.

    Anyway, he offers Christine a chance to reconnect with her deceased spouse, and also attracts the attention of her fresh-faced younger sister, Janet (Cathy O'Donnell).



    We leave our viewers to discover what happens next, lest we spoil the story's ensuing twists and turns (many of which surprised us).

    That said, The Amazing Mr. X is really one of those films where atmosphere and mood are almost as important as the plot.  And it does achieve a kind of quirky, haunted ambience, thanks to the restrained score, impressive visual effects, and creative shot compositions.  (Whoever handled the cinematography had a real fondness for unusual camera angles: one scene is shot from the bottom of a sink!)



    So despite a few hokey moments, The Amazing Mr. X stands as a worthwhile effort that might not please contemporary tastes (and certainly won't scratch the itch of a blood-and-guts horror buff), but would be a fine option for a rainy afternoon with Grandma.

    Well, unless Grandma's still getting over Grandpa, and Grandpa was a douchey pianist (or had a bit o' the boot-fa-chay).




    Friday, August 9, 2013

    Not Lebanese, Blanche! (Part 2)

    And, another movie where it's all about the ladyfolk.  But nothing much Sapphic happens in:



    Swamp Women (1956)

    Grade: C-



    Bad "beauties" bust out of brig to bring back buried baubles from bayou, but babes' boat = broken. Bad break for big Bob & Bob's bayou-besotted beloved!

    Babes "borrow" boat -- bye-bye beloved (blub-blub-blub).  Babes bicker, bathe, brood, bitch, battle over booty (and Bob).



    But, betrayal: brunette babe's bogus -- not a baddie, but a badge babe!  Bob benefits.



    Beheld, Swamp Women's brown, blobby, blown-out -- basically, brightness- & brilliance-bereft. (Brief bit's bizarrely #00BB00, because...??)



    Bad, Mill Creek, bahut bad!  But, bargain box be bargain box: better buyables = big bucks.



    BTW, speaking of Roger Corman, another one we're not going to review is Little Shop of Horrors (1960), since it's been more than amply discussed by many, many other writers.  It's pretty funny, though.