Showing posts with label sad sack. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad sack. Show all posts

Friday, July 7, 2017

The (inadvertent) gold diggers of 1932

In 1933, Busby Berkeley and Mervyn LeRoy struck gold at the intersection of economic hardship and showgirl opportunism, beginning with that triumphant -- and ironic -- clarion call: "We're in the money!" When times are tough, marry rich, and figure the rest out later. (If that sounds awfully cynical, it probably is -- but hey, it worked out perfectly for one of our grandmothers.)

But though these two films also use Gold Diggers of 1933's secret-millionaire trope, they don't crow about cash at all, whether at the start or the end. Maybe an extra year of Depression-era desperation made the difference, but in this case, the women lucky enough to end up with Mr. Moneybags just seem glad to have found themselves a nice fella. 



Strangers of the Evening (1932)

Grade: C-


This confusing tale of morgues, mayhem, and mistaken identity took us quite a while to unpack, though by the end we'd finally sussed it all out (more or less).

From the opening sequence -- in which the body of a man who allegedly fell asleep at the wheel is deposited at a morgue -- it's clear something sketchy is afoot...


...and if our intuition didn't tell us that, we certainly know it explicitly once Dr. Chandler the undertaker (Warner Richmond) finishes a phone call with his unsuspecting assistant Tommy (Harold Waldridge), turns to his friends, and triumphantly says "They fell for it."

But even though we understood the basic trajectory of the plot, something in the telling of Strangers of the Evening left us very confused as to its mechanics. OK, it's a story of mistaken identity, but how exactly did the swap happen? Were we supposed to infer that certain key items changed hands, or was it depicted in some non-obvious, veiled way?

Similarly, though it may appear Dr. Raymond Everette (Theodore von Eltz) has murdered the father of his fiancée (Miriam Seegar), there's little doubt that all is not as it seems. You're meant to feel clever at moments like those, but instead we had the nagging feeling that we'd missed something -- something that would bring coherence to events themselves, rather than an explication of the underlying scheme (which would obviously be premature at the sub-10-minute mark).


These issues -- and others, like a medical-experimentation subplot that goes nowhere -- are probably down to subpar direction and scriptwriting, in whatever proportions. A second viewing makes things clearer, of course, but that's hardly the standard...or is it? Perhaps some of these films were meant to be seen more than once, by truant schoolchildren and unemployed workers desperate for distraction.

The main selling point for many prospective viewers of Strangers of the Evening was probably the presence of Zasu Pitts -- pronounced "say-zoo", if you didn't know (and we didn't). She's Sybil, the flaky girlfriend of a befuddled amnesiac (Lucien Littlefield) who wanders through the movie in search of his real identity. Pitts does about what you'd expect, and does it as mournfully as ever.



In several details Strangers of the Evening bears an unexpected resemblance to The Midnight Warning, right down to the "dead body rising from a table" and "let us never speak of this again" tropes that shape a significant chunk of its narrative. Maybe it's instructive to compare the two films, since while Strangers of the Evening throws a lot of seemingly unrelated information at the viewer and gradually reveals the underlying structure, we had an easier time following The Midnight Warning's more parsimonious approach, starting with a firm foundation and then introducing new facts one at a time until the picture was complete.

All this probably gives the impression that we didn't like Strangers of the Evening -- which is literally true, but we didn't dislike it either. It's not stupid or irritating, just poorly made in certain respects. (Plus a few flubbed lines here and there, but that's hardly unusual in films from this period.) And we were able to differentiate between at least some of the white guys in hats, which is a nice change of pace.

One can hardly recommend this film, but it's reasonably watchable and not unpleasant -- putting it miles ahead of, say, The Phantom or The Midnight Phantom.

And hey, that's a nice segue into:



The Phantom Express (1932)

Grade: B


There are too damn many films with words like "phantom" and "midnight" in their names, leaving our heads filled with a muskless miasma of monikers: how to differentiate between The Midnight PhantomThe Midnight Shadow, and The Phantom Shadow?

(OK, that last one is actually a Scooby-Doo villain, but you get the point.)


So -- with one foot already in that river of titles untethered to their filmic content -- it's easy to assume The Phantom Express is yet another interchangeable Poverty Row effort, a poorly-acted Sack special, or any number of other been-there done-thats.


That'd be a shame, though, as we were rather charmed by this modest but engaging little movie. True, the plot itself mostly colors inside the lines, and could be summed up like so: a small railroad, plagued with derailments caused by the phenomenon in the film's title, will soon be sold for pennies on the dollar unless the owner's son can solve the mystery.

In all honesty, that mystery isn't terribly hard to unravel, and we guessed its basic outlines well before the final denouement. That said, The Phantom Express doesn't really depend on a whodunit (or a who-conducted-it) to sustain our interest.

Rather, a combination of elements made The Phantom Express a pleasant surprise. One is the skillful cinematography, yielding set-pieces that, for a film of this vintage and budget, are impressively striking.

The biggest factor, though, is the film's unexpected decision not to focus myopically on the hero's quest to save his inheritance. Sure, it's predictably fun to see the boyish Bruce Harrington (William Collier Jr.) go undercover, disguising himself as a grease-blackened railroad worker to find out what's really happening -- and, when the opportunity arises, play a prank on the only person around who knows his true identity.

But instead, The Phantom Express devotes a surprising amount of time to the plight of Smokey (J. Farrell MacDonald), the veteran engineer who's dedicated his life to Southwestern Pacific, only to come under fire when a major derailment happens on his watch. Then as now, loyalty and seniority are no guarantee.

Of course, Smokey's daughter Carolyn (Sally Blane) also turns out to be young Mr. Harrington's love interest (having ditched the heavy-duty RBF you saw a few screenshots ago). Even better for him that he's boarding in their house, for propinquity without iniquity.

Still, The Phantom Express puts Smokey -- and his grief -- front and center for a good portion of its running time. Seldom have we seen a film devote this much care to showing how completely a middle-aged man can be crushed by the loss of his job.

The pathos and intensity here is genuine, and unflinching enough in its depiction that we dreaded -- but half-expected -- the looming prospect of a slow pan and out-of-frame gunshot.

However, a friend in need is a friendly Swede, and none more so than Smokey's irrepressible pal Axel. Played by an actor billed as Axel Axelson (!), with no other credits on IMDb, we have no idea whether we're dealing with a genuine one-shot, or an actor working under a blatant pseudonym for contractual reasons. Either way, Axel's the kind of guy who, if you need him, will show up to help save the day faster than you can say tutenbobels. (Or jazz hands.)


All this means that the closing act of The Phantom Express isn't just a standard boy-solves-crime-and-gets-girl affair, but is as much -- or more so -- about whether Smokey's hopes for redemption will be fulfilled.

Of course, we get the obligatory Scooby Doo action, since these meddling kids still have to solve the crime, unmask the culprit(s), and race against time -- in whatever order. (Bet you thought that "Phantom Shadow" reference was just a one-off!)

But one suspects that, with its frank depiction of a grown man's pain, a film like The Phantom Express may have meant a lot to thousands of aging male moviegoers. With no other socially acceptable way to work through the crushing experience of losing their livelihoods after age 40, at least they could see someone else's grief mirroring their own, while trying to find a way forward in a dark, friendless time.

And sadly, that's still as relevant now as it's ever been.

Monday, May 29, 2017

What a doll

We're all about timeliness at the Umbrellahead Review; since today is a holiday (happy Memorial Day, everyone!), let's review two Santa-centric features, each with an adorable little tyke and her beloved dolly. 


Santa Claus (1959)

Grade: F

What else can one really say about one of IMDB's bottom 100 films of all time? Santa Claus is #87 as of this writing -- two spots below The Aztec Mummy Against the Humanoid Robot (1958), another K. Gordon Murray Mexican import redub special.

 
It's a bizarre offering, to be sure. Our man Santa lives in a crystal and gold palace in a galaxy far, far away (though simultaneously directly above the North Pole -- quite the astronomical feat!), and spends his free time playing a magical organ to accompany a flotilla of singing and dancing It's a Small World rejects.

Too racy for Disney, perhaps.
There's no Mrs. Claus in sight (hmm), but he does have a sweaty, hairy, shirtless blacksmith (double hmm) and Merlin the Wizard (yup) in residence to help him out with all the traditional accouterments necessary for Christmas Eve. 

This includes a giant key that opens every door on the planet, sleeping powder for the kiddies, and a massive collection of spy equipment focused squarely on Earth's children. 

This is naturally controlled by giant animatronic body parts.
Santa's particularly fixated on a handful of Mexican niños, among them adorable Lupita, a poor little mite who just wants a dolly for Christmas (plus one more to share with the baby Jesus, because she's just that good and pure).

Lupita really is a cute kid, we say without sarcasm -- we'd love to know what happened to her
Meanwhile, back on Earth (or maybe Pluto or something, since if Toyland is in outer space, why not Hell?), Satan interrupts a demonic dance party to summon his minion Pitch, who's tasked with leading the children of Earth astray (coincidentally, those same Mexican kids!) in order to defeat Santa Claus. 


OK, we'll buy that -- Mexico has its traditional devil-vs-the-shepherds pastorelas, so this modernized, kid-friendly version isn't completely out of left field. What follows is an often strange, yet ultimately harmless baturrillo of devilish trickery, strange ballets, and parents presented in rather coffin-like oversized gift boxes. 

Besides its seemingly interminable length, we count three factors that turn what could have otherwise been a so-bizarre-it's-wonderful surrealistic romp into a ¡dios-mío!-please-let-it-be-over slog.

 

First is K. Gordon Murray himself, who not only bastardized the original Mexican production (so say some sources -- we're not keen on doing a detailed compare/contrast ourselves), but lent his own voice as the omnipresent narrator, who just goes on and on and ON in that very 1950's false-excited tone, without letting any of the (dubbed) dialogue or action just, you know, speak for itself. 

LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING!
The second is a sort of claustrophobic dinginess that infuses all the scenes, both indoors and out. The Eastmancolor film process probably plays a factor, but no doubt a low budget and poor production values didn't help. 


Even the Toyland scenes, with their over-the-top set pieces and giant key-shaped door openings, have a closed-in, suffocating feeling (bad lighting? poor camera angles?), and this ends up sucking all the brightness and life out of the action.


Finally, the absolute worst thing about the film (in our humble Umbrellahead opinion) is the eye-rolling, ear-gouging, almost physically painful repetition of Jingle Bells -- never a verse, always just the chorus, over and over and over again, whenever a musical cue was deemed necessary (which was often).

 
Whatever its other memorable bits -- I mean, a wizard in a Christmas movie? -- Santa Claus will forever be known to us as "that awful Mexican Jingle Bells thing." Sorry, little Lupita.





Christmas Evil (1980)
(aka You Better Watch Out)

Grade: D



Christmas Evil certainly had the potential for something greater than just seasonally mitigated obscurity. The film stars Harry Stadling (Brandon Maggart), a sad sack middle manager at the Jolly Dream toy factory whose fixation with Christmas stems from a traumatizing moment when he saw his mother in flagrante delicto with his Santa suit-clad father. 

Reminds us of (the later) Don't Open Till Christmas; however, unlike the murderer in that film, the experience doesn't make Harry want to kill Santa -- it makes him want to be Santa. 

Paging Dr. Freud...
From the rooftop of his modest apartment (filled with Santa kitsch -- posters, dolls, the works) Harry spies on the neighborhood children, recording their every act in a custom-embossed pair of leatherbound tomes of, yes, Good Boys & Girls (including little Susy Lovett and her doll -- "just a darling") and the corresponding Bad ones. 

His bookshelf shows volumes labeled '78 through '80 -- where did one have books like that produced in 1980? The local Kinkos? Mail order?
OK, a bit sad and more than a little odd, but so far nothing overtly sinister. What follows is Harry's transition from neighborhood creeper to holiday killer.

Here's why Christmas Evil had potential: its murderer is not, for once, a comprehensively psychotic yet remarkably clever and capable mastermind, able to carefully plan the minutest details of complex crimes and cooly elude capture, all while being completely batshit crazy. 

Hello? Is this every modern crime show on TV?
Rather, this is the slow burn of a sad, unbalanced man being gradually pushed over the edge by the thousand small cuts of an uncivil society: his boorish bullying co-worker; a snotty little boy ogling Penthouse (whose mother happens to be played by Mrs. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, Patricia Richardson); the greedy corporate bosses who value profit over charity.

Fed up with the injustice (and unwholesomeness) of it all, Harry focuses on transforming into the jolly elf himself -- the perfectly-padded suit, well-glued facial hair, fancifully painted van-turned-sleigh -- to put right all the perceived wrongs. 

That he goes on to commit murder is only a byproduct of this strange, misguided, rather bumbling quest to restore Christmas cheer to his small slice of the dirty, cruel world.

Where the film fails is not in the premise, but the writing and direction (both by Lewis Jackson). It sort of wants to be a black comedy -- and it probably would have made a great one! -- but is neither black nor comedic enough to pull it off. 

There are a few exceptions.
It really wants to be a slasher flick, but lacks the punch, suspense, and shock factor of even the more mediocre ones (not to mention that the body count is rather low). 


Key scenes are poorly shot and end up murky and hard to follow; the film's timeline isn't well defined (though we figured it out on second viewing), which also adds further confusion. 

It follows a pattern we've often seen in underwhelming films -- an intriguing premise, a middle third that drags, and a rushed finale that doesn't really fulfill the promise of the beginning. Brandon Maggart was well cast and did his best, but ultimately, Christmas Evil belongs on the Bad list.